Our 3 Year Old

I can't believe Hope is 3! We had such a blast for her birthday. We started out at the Aquarium. Eric has been wanting to take Hope there since she was born! So I wondered if this was really an early birthday present for him??? Regardless we ALL had a blast. I will always remember when we were walking back to the car, I came to the realization that most likely, this was the last "fun" thing we would do as a family of 3. I had mixed emotions at the time.


Other fun pictures!



This is the last part where you can buy food to feed the rays. Hope did it once and then she was DONE. The first time Eric and I ever went to the aquarium, was with my office Christmas dinner. Eric was wet up to his shoulders and would have been swimming with the rays if he had half a chance.

Hope ate lunch outside then she was showing off her moves...



After nap we had a small Cinderella birthday party. Let me be perfectly clear, I know NOTHING about making cute cakes. I was glad I did it despite the flaws and intimidation. It was even kind of fun.



Happy birthday my sweet girl.

Pictures of Gage

I am the worst about taking pictures! I don't have a ton of pictures, but here are a few from the last couple of weeks.

This is the best little guy. He is eating well, sleeping well, and just an absolute pleasure to have around. He is already giving me a 5 hour stretch at night. We had to take him to the pediatrician a week ago today for a check up on his slight jaundice. Then we had his 2 week visit this last Wednesday. They couldn't believe that in those 5 days he had already gained a pound.

On to the pictures.

This one is for Abbie. Just a week or so before we had Gage, we were having a conversation about how some people look picture perfect for the pictures right after delivery. She said she wanted to have that opportunity. Not me! I specifically got in the shower before heading to the hospital with the intention of washing off my makeup.


This is my "Beef Cake"


This was Hopes first funny face for her baby brother. She had been talking about this moment for months, literally!



These are from today. He is almost 2 weeks old. Tell me, has he changed? Everyone keeps asking me who he looks like. The jury is still out for me. Tell me who you think he looks like!

Gage Gunner McCain

He's here!

Gage Gunner McCain
Born on March 27,2011
9 lbs 7 oz
21 1/2 inches long

Everyone including big sister Hope is doing well, and loving every minute of the new addition to the family. He is a sweet little guy and is already enriching our lives so much. As soon as I figure out how to put pictures on my new computer, I will post some. He is so dang cute!

Oxygen

We're kinda bummed around the McCain house. Hope is still on oxygen for another WEEK! We had our appointment today, and her numbers were between 88-92. The doctor wanted her to be solidly, and consistently above 90. So, we can take the oxygen off some during the day, but it is still a must for sleeping.

I learned an interesting thing about prayer today. Sometimes I learn lessons in mysterious ways. All week I have been praying that the doctors would be directed to know the best thing to do to help Hope. Well, I found myself in the doctors office praying for MY wants to happen. NO MORE OXYGEN.

It wasn't until the ride home, that I realized that I am grateful that Heavenly Father knows when to actually listen to my prayers! I know that it really is best for her to be on the oxygen, but it is definitely not what I want.

Bottom line: I am grateful that my prayers for Hopes best interest beat out my prayers for my own selfish desires!

RSV, Pneumonia and a Night in Childrens Urgent Care

Thursday February 17th, I realized that Hope was starting with another cold. Then Friday and Saturday she ran a fever of around 100 to 101, off and on. She acted pretty normal in the morning, but then by early afternoon, she was really tired and feverish. Sunday, Eric stayed home with Hope since I had to go to church. By the time I got home at 12:30 she had only been awake a few very short minutes in short intervals and was breathing rapidly. She was breathing about 55-60 breaths a minute when she should be in the 25 range. I called our Pediatrician, then was routed to Children's Hospital for after hours care. After talking to the nurse, she said we needed to take her to urgent care to have her looked at.

Somewhat reluctantly (what else would she pick up while there?)we left to head up to the Urgent care at Hwy 7 and I-25. Let me stop and tell you if you live in the area at all, I think it is the ONLY place to take kids! They were very good about cleaning everything, and the staff was awesome!

As soon as they took her oxygen level, it became a bit of a whirlwind. She was at about 80 when she should have been at 95+. The Doctor came in immediately and listened to her lungs. He said she had Pneumonia and that we would be spending the night. Thankfully we got the last room of the night! An x-ray confirmed bacterial pneumonia. They treated her as if it was RSV with pneumonia.

What a terrible night in the hospital! We had only slept about 3 hours the night before, so we were already sleep deprived. Then a 30 minute nap in the hospital all night. I was totally delusional!

Anyway, we only had to stay 1 night. We are now home on oxygen until tomorrow when we go back to the doctor to see if we can take it off. Keeping our fingers crossed!

Soon after we got to the room. They gave her a new blanket, toys, books, stuffed animals, hundreds of movies to choose from, and new slippers. They are definitely set up for Children!

Watching a movie on Daddy's phone.

Whenever we wanted to go for a walk, Hope had to wear a mask. At first I told the nurse there was no way she was going to wear it. You should have seen us trying to get the oxygen on her! But she did great! We ended up going for about 5 walks, and that is the biggest reason they let us go home instead of staying another night.

Hope's First Trip to the Dentist

Hope just went to the Dentist for the first time! She did great! One of the other hygienists, Danielle, has a son that is about 4 months older than Hope. We both thought that our kiddos might be more cooperative for someone else. So, we met there to clean the other kid. Danielle started but Hope decided that she would rather have Mama do it, so I actually polished her teeth. It was a lot of fun. Then Grandpa took his turn. He demanded payment at the time of service, a big kiss!!

Gunner's 1 Year Milestones

When Gunner's 1st birthday came this year, I was not prepared for the magnitude in which it hit me. I thought I may feel a little grief, but was amazed at how difficult it actually was. The night before his birthday, I was making banana bread, just because I wanted to, and because both Eric and Hope love it. It was then, that it occurred to me that I should be baking a 1st birthday cake. From that moment, I was overwhelmed by the sadness and grief.

His birthday was a very difficult day for me. I don't know how else to explain how I felt, but pure grief. I will forever miss his firsts. First birthday, first word, first smile, first temper tantrum, first fall, first day of school, endless and countless firsts.

My mom rescued me that day. She was much more prepared for my emotions than I was. My mother in law made the phone call that I couldn't even answer the phone without bursting into tears. Thank you to all that remembered in whatever way that day. I have learned that I do better being surrounded by people at those hard times.

The day of his death was somehow easier. Probably because Eric took the day off so that we could go up to Estes. My mom and Jordan were able to go with us as well. It was actually the first time Jordan had been back to see the headstone. I remember it was freezing, so we didn't stay too long. Jordan brought up 2 really cute dogs, one for Hope and one for Gunner.

We had a nice time and after getting some lunch (of course, that is part of the tradition of going to Estes!) we went to a park near by. The thing I will remember is that Eric was pushing Hope so high on the swing that I kept thinking, "Heavenly Father, you know I can live through losing another child, right?"

I love that Hope associates going to the mountains with going to see Gunner. The 1 year anniversary of the burial was also a difficult day, but again I was able to feel the sadness for a few moments, then return to my gratitude for the blessings in my life. I remember during that time when I prayed that I would tell Heavenly Father that I was sorry that I was feeling sorry for myself, but that if He just gave me a few short minutes of sadness, I could return to my gratitude. Sometimes when I tell Eric, that I talk to my Heavenly Father that way, I think he thinks I am a little crazy. But, I feel comfortable enough to be honest, and talk to my Father in Heaven like I do my Dad here on earth. Maybe I am crazy but I love my Father in Heaven and I am grateful that He accepts me for who I am.

Christmas 2010

I am really bummed at how few pictures I took for Christmas. It was so awesome to have everyone home. Hope was in HEAVEN playing with her cousins. I was in HEAVEN just having time with everyone. The time I love the most is when we are just at home visiting and spending time together.
The traditional PJ's for Christmas Eve. Unfortunately I guess I only got a picture of the little girls.

Letter to Santa and treats for Santa and the Reindeers. Carter was very graciously the scribe.


We stayed the night at my parents. I wasn't sure at first if she was going to be willing to stay in the room with the kids, but she was able to sleep through the commotion in the morning. They woke us up at 4:30, I think. Everyone else was up at 4:00. That may sound crazy to some, but it sounds like Christmas to me!



This year for Christmas Dad spend countless hours making all of us individualized boxes. They are incredibly beautiful. Each one was unique and custom for the individual. I need to get pictures to post.
This Christmas is going down in the records as a really special one, it doesn't get any better than having everyone together.
This last picture cracks me up because Hope really took to Ryan. This picture was after a bath and Ryan was the only one she would let comb her hair. She also let him adjust her while he was here. Ever since they have been gone, sometimes Hope will still ask if Ryan can come and play princess dress up etc. Too funny!

Christmas Eve Morning in Estes Park 2010

This year everyone was home for Christmas! It really was a special year. Eric and I knew that we wanted to get up to Estes before Christmas was over, so we decided that Christmas Eve morning would be a great time to go. We really didn't expect that many of our family members would be interested in going, but we extended the invitation anyway.

We were so surprised when everyone wanted to go with us. Gable was able to come even though it was his time to be with his wife's family. Jordan couldn't get off work, but everyone else was there.

Hope on the way there. She just cracks me up. Sometimes the sunglasses are on the right way, sometimes they are upside down.

Everything was covered in snow. so everyone went on the hunt. I didn't have great shoes on, or gloves so I just observed. The funny thing was Julia was by me, and I said, I think it is right in this area, and I was right! I am not the most observant person, so I surprised myself.


What a good looking group!


After the cemetery, we stopped at Village Pizza for lunch then back home to enjoy the rest of the Christmas festivities.

It meant so much to me that we were able to go, and to be surrounded by family. I know that Gunner knows that we made the effort to be there and that we were thinking of him on Christmas. I had moments that I felt the ache of missing him. I also had moments of trying to imagine how different things would be if he was there with us. But I also marveled at the miracles that have taken place because of him.

Christmas Sunday

I just want to write this down so that I remember. Every Sunday, it works out that I get Hope dressed while Eric is in the shower. And every Sunday as soon as she is dressed, she runs to the bathroom to show her daddy her "beautiful dress". Sometimes she just stands there for as long as it takes for him to realize she is standing there. Sometimes she just can't wait, so she says something so he knows she is there. I love this little tradition because every single time, Eric tells her just how beautiful she is, and she loves every minute of it. Every little girl should know just how beautiful their daddy thinks they are, right?

This Sunday, Eric had to leave early. It was also the Sunday before Christmas. So, Hope said, "Oh no! Daddy not here to see my beautiful dress!" Then SHE suggested we take a picture so that he could see it later. How could I turn down such a request?

Notice Big Bertha (our Christmas tree) in the back. Our tree was HUGE this year!

Pictures with Santa

Every year we go to Bass Pro Shop to see Santa. It seems kind of funny, but we love it because they give you a professional picture. Plus, it seems we always have something to buy while we are there anyway. If you go, you MUST go during the week, because the wait can be 2+ hours long!


They also have a place for the kids to have a "Snowball fight". That was the highlight for Hope. She is not a shy little girl.

Of course we go around to see the animals too. This picture cracks me up. She was trying to smile like I asked her to, but was also trying to look at the fish.

Thanksgiving 2010

I am SO behind on blogging! This year for Thanksgiving we went up to Windsor to celebrate with Kirsti and Mike and Aaron and Pam, and their families. We had a lot of fun, and tons of good food. It was fun to see Hope with all of her cousins. It was also fun to see how you can take 2 little girls (Hope and Brynlee) and see just how different they can be. Let's just say Hope was a little like a bull in a china shop. She seems to have settled back into the more calm child we know and love.
These are the fun little project that Kirsti had for the kids.


The kids at the kids table. No nap for Hope that day = delusional!

Our little helper

So this fall we had a lot of fun cleaning up the leaves! We are starting to realize that Hope just loves to be helping and involved. In fact the key to getting her to eat dinner is to let her help. Here are a few pictures of he helping with the leaves this fall.

Best Friend

I want to remember this forever! We are coming out of just about the roughest 24 hour period that I can remember. Picture Hope vomiting for almost 18 hours straight, and about 2 hours was every 5-10 minutes. Yeah, pretty rough as far as I am concerned. Eric so kindly took over the night hours, because in my very pregnant state, I was totally exhausted and my body wasn't going to let me get away with much more. My husband is the best. (At least I think so!)

This morning I was laying next to Hope in our bed on a pillow just looking at each other and talking. Out of the blue she puts her arm around my neck and says "You're my best friend."

PRICELESS