Gunner Lee McCain

Gunner Lee McCain
January 13,2010 to January 14,2010

I have anticipated writing this post for the last 22 weeks, and I am still not quite sure how I want to do this. This has been a journey for our family. Interestingly several months ago we put the saying "Finding joy in the journey" up on our wall. I think that I will share the short story, as my journal has been a close companion of mine, and contains all the details. About 12 weeks ago, we learned that our second child, also our first son, was diagnosed with something called Trisomy 13.

We had never heard of Trisomy 13, and when we first heard about it we thought, that is okay we will do whatever it takes to fix "it". To our shock, there was more to learn about this chromosomal condition. The doctors tried to tell us that Trisomy 13 is not "compatible with life". Our thoughts? That's okay, we'll fix it, we'll do whatever it takes! We learned that Trisomy 13 is so severe that most likely every system in his little body would be affected including his brain and heart. The specialist had seen potentially serious problems with the left ventricle of the heart and with the cerebellum in the brain. Still, we maintained hope in our hearts and in our prayers that we may be blessed with a miracle.

What we didn't realize initially was that we were lucky that we were well into the 3rd trimester, and any amount of time that we were given to spend with Gunner was truly a gift from our Father in Heaven.



We went to the hospital early in the morning on January 13th and because he was in the breach position, we tried to turn him, without success. So, we decided to continue with a c-section. I truly cannot express the true happiness when I heard the first cry from Gunners mouth. Everyone else in the room was commenting on his red curly hair. Which, can I mention has been something that Eric and I have joked about having a boy with red curly hair for years. He was just perfect with his full head of red curly hair!

The next 35 hours were truly the most amazing, terrifying and wonderful hours. We showed Gunner the most love that we could in the time that we were given. We didn't sleep or rest, all we could find the energy to do, was hold him, kiss him and try to soak up every little detail that I will try to remember for the rest of my life. If you look at him, he was given some minor imperfections, which served as a reminder of his perfect spirit.

We believe that we did receive a miracle. Actually we received too many miracles to count. The amazing thing is how much we have grown as individuals as well as a family. The journey has been long and hard, but also a great source of growth. I love my husband more today than I ever thought possible. I am so grateful for Hope. From the very beginning, we knew that facing this without her would seem impossible.



About 2 weeks into this journey, I was praying and when I was finished, I knew 2 things for absolutely certain. One, my Father in Heaven loves me in just the same way that I love my children. That He is not punishing me, but that He is actually blessing me, and at some point in the eternities, I will come to understand that blessing. Two, that all He is asking of me is to turn my will over to Him. As I was able to try and do this, he took the pain away and replaced it with an overwhelming gratitude for the blessings in my life.



Words cannot express our gratitude to our families and friends that have been there to support us. Our families and friends are one of the miracles that we have been given, thank you!

I am so grateful for this journey, although the journey is not yet over. I am grateful to know that families are forever. Here are a few of the pictures that we have of Gunner. All the tears you see are tears of joy. To see more pictures of Gunner, press the play button on the picture below to see more pictures.



Also, thanks to Jeff Weber for taking the professional pictures. They are truly priceless!

Christmas 2009

So Christmas this year was busy as usual but without all the family around that we are used to having around. Hope was really at a fun stage with opening gifts and joining in the traditions. Of course it starts with Christmas Eve PJ's. (I still can't take a picture without her pulling this fake smile looking face, isn't she a little young for that?!!?)

Eric spent hours and hours refurbishing a bike that we bought off of Craigs list. Of course being the perfectionist that he is, several pieces were resanded and painted multiple times. It had to be just perfect. I have to say I think it might be the cutest bike I've ever seen. Complete with her name and a little princess crown on the front.


I just ran across this picture from last year, it is amazing to think of all the experiences and growth we are blessed with each year. Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

"Pity"

So, one day when my mom was watching Hope, she was painting her toe nails. Hope was apparantly pretty intrigued with it so my mom painted Hopes toe nails also. First thing when I walked in the door she held her foot out and said "pity" (aka pretty). Now everytime we take off her socks, everyone has to comment on her nails.

Going Private

After thinking about it for several months, I have decided to go private with our blog. If you would like to continue with our blog, please send me your e-mail address so I can add you to the list. Thanks!

Halloween

On Friday night we went to our ward Trunk-or-Treat, but unfortunately my batteries on my camera were dead. Saturday night we went to my parents house for dinner and then we went out with Chelsea, Jordan and the kids. We didn't go to too many houses, but we didn't need to, the kids already had tons of candy. Eric decided to let Hope have a sucker at 8:00 and she was wired until 10:00. At least she stayed awake for the bath that she desperately needed.

The kids dancing to scary music in the living room. Mom and Dad set up a fog machine, so they thought that was pretty cool.

This was the table for our scary dinner.

Chelsea had a really great idea for Halloween costumes, so I basically just copied her. Thank goodness one of us has some creativity. I am good at following a pattern, but not at creating one. I thought it turned out really cute. Might still fit next year too! Thanks Chels.


This was the first stop... Grandma and Grandpa's...and Jordan.

Pumpkin Patch

I have never been to a pumpkin patch before this year, but we had a lot of fun. Unfortunately we waited too long, and all of the pumpkins had frozen and were in various stages of mush. We didn't buy any, but had fun looking around. Hope didn't care about the pumpkins anyway. She spent most of the time playing with the dirt. Once she saw all of the animals, she didn't care about anything else.


This was when Hope first saw the animals, she does something we call her happy dance. She stomps her feet and swings her arms. She always does it when she is excited, like when Eric gets home from work.




Blowing kisses to all of the animals.

Hope loves to wear Daddys clothes!

This is a day that Hope put Eric's shirt on, and her sunglasses and was riding around the house on her train. She looked hilarious. I couldn't get her to get back on the train once I got the camera out. The last few months when we get the camera she always makes this weird "smiling" face.

First Snow

Here are a few pictures from our first snow. Eric and Hope were playing in the backyard. Notice she isn't dressed appropriately? I know, we didn't have great snow clothing. She still had a blast. Grandma McCain made the hat last year, and it fits just perfectly. Hope is now trying to get dressed by herself. That is why the hat was put on kind of funny.

First day of Nursery

This was Hope on her first day of nursery. She did really great the first day, we were there for 10 minutes, then snuck out. That was the first and the last, now she realizes we are going to leave and keeps a very close eye on us. If we get anywhere near the door, she loses it. Any ideas how to make this work????

Some more fun with Cousins

We got together with Kirsti and Mike and their three kids, Maddie, Tyler and Jeremy. We had a great time, even if we had to leave before making s'mores in the back yard. Thanks to Kirsti, we also have some new great recipes. Chelsea and Ryan and their 4 kids were also there. The kids all loved playing together.

THE sunglasses

So we bought Hope these sunglasses for $2.00 at Carters, but she will not put them down. Here are just a few of the funny pics.

Trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house

We were able to go and visit Eric's parents in Missouri in September. We had a really great time, and made some really great memories. One occasion that I wish I had a picture of was when Mom, Hope and I were sitting on the porch watching Eric and Grandpa lighting fireworks. They found one (yes a BIG firework) that had separated from the stick. They decided that it would be okay to just "stick" it back together. When the lit it, the firework flew towards us, and went off about 4 feet behind us. I was doing everything I could to get Hope and get out from under the porch. I am sure it was quite the sight. It provided a good laugh anyway.

I can't believe I let MY child walk into the gas station looking like this. We left the house very early and left her in her PJ's hoping she would go back to sleep.


Hope loves to wear other peoples shoes. This is also the face she makes when she doesn't like her hair hanging in her face.


"Helping" grandma with dishes.


Riding the horse outside a restaurant we went to.


Pictures with Grandma and Becy (I'm not sure how Grandpa avoided the camera!) and the beloved tractor rides. Her first ride, she fell asleep after not taking a nap for a couple of days. After that she loved to go and see the horses in one of the properties nearby.








I wish I had been better about taking pictures, but we all had a blast!

Kind of embarassing

So, Hope has now grown out of this stage, but not before I found myself trying to explain this odd behavior. Hope loved to stuff her onsies as full as possible with anything and everything she could find. She did it a few times at friends houses and I never quite knew what to say! I think the pictures will speak for themselves.


Once she emptied out her onsie on this occasion, I just had to take a picture of all of the stuff she had stuffed into her onsie. This was definitely one of the times she got the most in there! Someone, oh someone, please tell me that their child did this at some point!?!?

Random pics from this summer

Other random pictures.






At a park with one of her other cousin Seth.


Hope doing a sparkler with Dad.


This was a trip to Silverthorne where the Guys went fishing and the girls spent the day shopping after a fun picnic at the park. This was during the 4th of July weekend.


This is Hope having fun with some of her cousins Branton, Carter, Aubrey and Lauren. She has really come to love each of them. She loves having them all around.